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Good morning, Asheville. It’s Brook. 👋 Whether married/coupled, single, or freshly divorced, the pandemic has impacted me and every one of my friends, but I wanted a broader look into how it’s shaping your search for love + romance. So earlier this month, I asked y’all how the pandemic is affecting your love life, and boy, did y’all deliver. From dating apps and socially distant meetups to the pros and cons of online dating, here are some of the answers I received:
Reader feedback
- “It’s like safe sex, discuss before we meet! When we meet, masks, outdoors, if comfortable remove masks (ya gotta see their face!)” – Linda C., 62, single + using dating apps.
- “Sometimes it makes me feel disposable. It’s an easy way out for people to delete you as opposed to engaging in a more difficult conversation if something isn’t going the ideal way.” – Allie M., 30, single + using dating apps.
- “[Dating] has changed completely. A Zoom date is a nice opportunity to see if there is personality chemistry. Does the conversation flow easily? If they can captivate your attention through a screen, that’s a HUGE plus.” – Tyler, 35, single + using dating apps.
- “I was using Bumble and met my boyfriend online March 12!!! The rules of dating changed right away. We took things very slowly, didn’t even meet in person until early May. And then it was outdoors, hiking, being very careful about distance. But the pressure was off for anything physical, so we got to know each other very well. It’s actually been beautiful.” – Mary F., 49, in a relationship.
- “I’m not even meeting my friends in person! The first person to touch me since March was my dentist because I broke a tooth.” – Amy V., 54, not dating.
- “Yes. Inability to meet for entertainment, drinks, movies, it’s a totally different atmosphere. There is an element of fear that taints everything as it involves a known risk, not just to you but all those you come in contact with. It’s no longer just emotional risk, physical health risk is first and foremost.” – Tess B., 60, single + using dating apps.
- “People are not typically honest virtually. You can be anything you pretend and/or wish to be online.” – Leeza P., 56, not dating.
- “I can meet many different people not otherwise in my social circles and you can make it clear if you are looking for a relationship or hookup.” – Sarah D., 37, single + using dating apps.
- “Pls God...never let me have to do it [date online] again. 🤢” – Audra G., 23, in a relationship.
- “On March 12, I decided to kick off my re-emergence into the dating scene. Yay, the day the world declared a pandemic. Well played, Universe. Well played.” – Candy I., 47, single + using dating apps.
- “It is very unnatural. Our mating – coupling urges are deeply rooted in our biology. We need to be present to sense on an unconscious level if we fit with each other. Online dating emphasized the wrong things.” – Lou J., 71, single + using dating apps.
- “[Dating apps are] still weighted towards younger folks.” – Deborah I., 62, single + using dating apps.
- “Online gives me the opportunity to find and meet more people with the specific qualities and characteristics that I am looking for.” – Dawn W., 56, single + using dating apps.
- “The free dating sites request limited information about the participants, so learning about the person’s integrity is much more of a challenge. Also, the free sites seem to have more trolls, swingers, and much less filters for matching with potential partners.” – Michelle E., 44, single + using dating apps.
And here’s what a few already-coupled folks had to say –
- “It has given us more quality time to spend time and work on projects together. We are both usually so busy working that quality time can be a challenge to schedule. We are grateful for this time to spend together and create things and also have some fun downtime together.” – Ana K., 47 + married/in a committed relationship.
- “With hours being cut at work for both of us, we have found happiness and freedom in exploring nature. We hike, kayak, and visit the beach regularly now.” – Kelley B., 39 + married/in a committed relationship.
Thanks for giving us a glimpse into your love life, Asheville. While most of you lamented the challenges online dating and the pandemic have brought about, others of you have actually found love, more quality time together, and more opportunities for connection. Hang in there.
